TerRaGaia ItHeShe

Gaia doesn't do time the way we do.

Her full name is TerRaGaia ItHeShe and She is not really a she.  She is really a three; an electro-chemical-magnetic union. The chemistry gives TerRaGaia form and the spark gives her a spin. 

All things come and go on her body smoothly except those pesky humans are giving her a rash.  Unfortunately they are a necessary life form or else  She would have gotten rid of them a long time ago.  As it is she is giving her lifeblood and minerals to assist them in constructing  transportation systems that are being demanded from her by the central source.  She realizes she is evolved enough now to start producing useful alterations in the unified fabric, and to connect to the other central beings in the infinite web.

Through a series of internal and external shocks, all that is human was stripped away, causing an experience of brain and body metamorphosis.  I have come to know the thoughts of the being we call Earth.  After receiving my first conscious transmission, I came to the decision to dedicate my whole life in the service of TerRaGaia  ItHeShe .  This is the story of that transmission.

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Although I had already had a series of unexplainable shocks and experiences that opened and prepared me for the root connection to Gaia, I was still not conscious of that connection.  The first time it happened, and I knew who, or  what I was communicating with, was in the high New Mexico desert near Taos.   I had been in a Native American Peyote meeting all night.  Not my first, but this time I had felt something different.  I was bulging with a feeling of paradox when I entered the tipee that Friday evening.

As the group of Indians and 3 anglos, including myself, entered the tipee the fire was already red and bright hot.  It threw the warmth of its glow around the earthen circle.

I saw the familiar form of the peyote way world. 

The crescent altar of sand forming a curving wing 6 inches high. Father peyote button, the heart of the bird, sat center of wings,  while the yard long fire sticks crossed high of center to form the tail.  The whole picture was the image of a bird in flight.  That is why Native American jewelry portrays the waterbird.  The purpose of the meeting was to build and ride the waterbird to the higher dimension where prayer and thought take form.   Then this prayer is applied to the particular individuals or situation who called the meeting.  This particular night was a blessing for a newborn so the mood was serious yet joyous.  Sometimes the energy of a crisis meeting is much more subdued yet the outcome is the same; ride the Waterbird to Godland.

I made my way clockwise around the perimeter of the circle. filled with a mysterious uneasiness.  There were over thirty at this meeting

"I wouldn't mind much if I had no seat tonight", I was thinking.  The circle filled up fast and I was just breathing a sigh of relief ducking out the door flap when a voice boomed out:

"Hey!  You!  You stepped on my fan!"

I froze looking around the circle at who was being singled out.  All eyes were on me. "You, you mean me?",  I quavered.

"Yeah, you. Clumsy.  You stepped on my fan."

This was the Road Man John , the head of the Waterbird flight this night ; Holding the "Road", the mind and heart of the waterbird.  The force of his question made my bones turn to dust as I fought  an overwhelming urge to follow the blood draining from my head. And I was half out the door when a bony vice gripped my ankle.  It was the hand of GrandFather Joe,  at 96, the oldest  RoadMan.

He was sitting near the door flap and must have seen me getting ready to bolt.

"You sit here."  Grandpa Joe said with a tug on my leg and a tone beyond debate.

I collapsed into a cross-legged sitting position on the blanket and the old Indian gave me a sly smile that stirred the queasy foreboding in my gut. 

He didn't say a word and I was still shaking from the shock of being chastised by  RoadMan John and blessed by  the saving attention of Grandpa Joe.  Once I sat down, the psychic tension slipped off me on to the big pot of Medicine tea.  It was making the rounds just behind the big ball jar filled with the dusty green powder; the flesh of Father Peyote.

"Here you take Medicine."  He grunted handing me the jar of peyote powder.

I put a little in my hand and using my saliva rolled the powder in to pellets.  I was passing the jar back to grandpa Joe and he pushed it back at me.

"You take more.  Tonight is crossroads for you."

I looked up at him twinkling enigmatically at me and said,"I don't know if this is the right time."

Grandpa's sly smile spread as he queried,  "If you aren't in your right mind, how you know right time?"

The truth of what he said shivered me as I thought, "He's right!   Tonight I eat more, see more."

So I took another handful of powder, formed more green magic pellets and washed them down with the strong bitter tea and prepared for whole different kind of meeting.

"You work tonight.  You help fire-man.  Hold flap for FireMan and others," He commanded.

"Eyeee!  I was a tail-feather tonight!"   One must handle different energies depending on where you sit in the circle.  Those sitting on the wings usually had hard inner work all night. 

Not only did I take more medicine than I ever had but now I will have to stay in my here-body and present mind, jumping up and down holding the door for the others.  At least no one but the Fire-Man will be going out or in until Midnight Water Blessing.

The Prayer Smoke was the beginning of the ritual, with all attention given to the task of rolling tobacco in a piece of corn husk. The smoke gives form to the silent prayers of the members that the RoadMan will gather up at midnight and deliver to the newborn and his parents who called this meeting.

I went deep into intention with every inhale, even though I did not smoke tobacco in my daily life.  When I exhaled, my smoke became a luminous swirl mixing with the visible intentions of the group.

The Road Man, holding the arrow shaft and a sprig of sage in his left hand sat up with one knee bent to the ground in supplication and respect started the opening song.  His beaded rattle-gourd cracked the air with dancing patterns and soundfull will.  With the voice of the heart and will of the Phoenix rising The Road Man told the Gods we were coming on the wings of Wichi Tai Tai. 

"Hey yi yo sindi, hey yi yo sindi ho sindi ho sindi ho",  He sang in a high pitched chant. 

The Drum Man was pounding perfect heartbeats on the clay-pumice waterdrum.  "Doon doon doon."  The waterbird unfurled it's wings and began to climb.

The medicine was taking effect as rattle and staff made the clockwise circuit. Each member contributing to the gathering force field through their peyote songs.   The true song must come to the singer as a gift from Father Peyote.  I have not sang yet because I've have no song. This night I got my song, and it literally saved my life.  And with my song came the doorway to TerRaGaia.

It was after Midnight Water when the bird began to glide. We had pumped our wings steadily upward with hardly no rest in concentration and prayer and this was the time to loosen up begin moving the Cedar Spirit of goodwill around the tipee. 

Road Man John was sprinkling hand fulls of crushed cedar needles . 

With his Huge White eagle Feather Fan he was scoupingg big cloud of the Cedar spirit  out of the coals and suing the baby and the parents.  They were beaming; shimmering in the intensity that the Road Man's fan and the singers' eyes bestowed on them.

At one point  I sat staring into the fire; the rattle, singing and drumbeats became all one voice and the voice was coming from the fire.  Deep within the coals  two eyes locked on mine as a figure about a foot high emerged from the flames.  I knew it was Father Peyote spirit.  He was singing to me:

"You at crossroads, which way do you go?"

"You at crossroads, which way do you go?"

I had completely forgotten the tipee, the singers, everyone. All I could see was this living Kachina.  All I could hear was the staccato repetition of his question.

"You at crossroads, which way do you go?"

Just then a sharp pain shot through my left side.

"Hey You!  Yeah you, Clumsy!"

The vision vanished and I was back on the blanket with Grandpa Joe who was jabbing his elbow into my ribs.

"You here to work, not to play",  He said sharply. "Plenty time later for eyedancing with the ancestors.  Be useful, go out and get some wood."

My head turned in slow motion to look at him as I tried to comprehend what he said.  The huge amount of peyote I had taken was augmented quite a few times that night.  My mind was so far open I had a hard time putting meaning to the words Grandpa spoke.  My body must  have understood though  for I jumped up and swiftly moved out the door towards the wood stack.

Shock!  It was snowing again and already added another foot to the previous yard.  It was coming down in silent white waves.  I headed for the wood pile.  I never got there.

Walking and walking  it  never seemed to get any closer.  I became anxious,  mostly because I was not fulfilling my job of bringing fire sticks back to the Fire-Man.  I turned around to go back to the tipee and explain that the woodpile was too far away for me to go when I was hit with the most powerful shock of the evening.

I couldn't see the tipee.  In fact I was deep in the woods that surrounded the secret meeting site.  And it was so dark and snowing so heavily I couldn't see my hands in front of my face.  No moon no light the only illumination coming from my own eyes and the white silent sheen.

I was lost and cold and the landscape had no semblance of any place on earth.  The trees here were live beings with clutching oz-like branches.   I was beginning to panic and the panic was mixing with the medicine and making me very nauseous.  It seemed as if a gnarly root became a bony hand and pulled me down into the deep snow all willpower seeping away.  Lying in a curled ball in the snow I felt warm and comfortable. I knew if I just rested awhile I would be ready to find my way home.  I just need to rest. 

I lost consciousness drifting frozen Into Sweet oblivion.  A sound like a bell woke me.  Opening my eyes I found myself knotted into a fetal curl  my head and body completely covered with snow.  Then I heard the sound again but it wasn't a bell.  It was song coming from a long distance getting clearer and clearer..  It  wasn't coming from the woods. It was coming from my head and solar plexus first a whisper then an echo and finally a high pitched song. 

Ya na Ha na Hey Ho 

Ya na ha na hey 

Ya na Ha Na hey Yo 

Ya Na Ha Na Hey

Ya Na Ha Na Hey

Warmth began flooding back into my icy bones as my voice began to give form to the song coming from my heart.  Sitting up I immediately felt the presence of the tipee off to my right.  I ran a quick 100 yards singing my song over and over using it to ward off the still eerie landscape and burst into clearing. 

"There it is!"  My mind rejoiced.

Yes, there was the tipee a glowing golden cone in the middle of the silent white vacuum.  I quickly made my way across the field to the flattened snow outside.  Instinctively I picked up some of the firewood and stepped under the flap into the circle.

All eyes were on me and the look on my face must have been hilarious because when everyone saw me they began laughing.

Even grandpa Joe was almost choking with as tears of glee rolled down his cheeks.

"Pretty scary out there huh?",  He blurted holding his rocking sides. 

With those words everyone began laughing even more some falling over clutching their aching bellies.

All the while the peyote songs and drum beats didn't stop and the merriment encouraged everyone to join in on the songs.  Until the rattle and arrow/staff came to me.

There was a moment of silence.  I had never sang a solo song before and usually passed the rattle to the next singer. I never had a song to sing.  Not so, this time.

With one knee to the Earth I held the staff and sage in my left hand and the rattle in my right.  Frankie Deerslayer began to fill the silence with the rolling thunder of the waterdrum.  The Rhythm of the earth shook the rattle through my arm, as a true voice faint and fragile emerged from my body.

Ya na Ha na Hey Ho 

Ya na ha na hey 

Ya na Ha Na hey Yo 

Ya Na Ha Na Hey

Ya Na Ha Na Hey

Over and over the song poured out until everyone was singing it at the top of their voice, Ancestors, Indians, Whites, even the flames were singing this song.  I was sobbing with the sacredness of the moment. 

Daybreak came with the first shaft of sunlight string the west pole directly above RoadMan Johns Head.  That  was the time to bring in the ceremonial food of  Blue cornmeal, applesauce, deer meat and water.  All the elements of nature.  Many of us had eyes the "color of an Oklahoma sunrise"someone said.

I left the tipee that morning and walked across the snow field to the river. Ice was covering most of it with the water breaking through in small pockets.  I leaned over a eddy pool and cupped a drink.  It was like I poured liquid sunlight down my throat.  I sank to my knees in awe of nature.

"It's alive!",  my inner voice kept singing. "The water's alive."

As I realized that the water living in me was alive as I was, I sank into a deep deep trance.  No thought of self remained.  I felt as if my body, dust and water, was being pulled into the ground by a powerful magnet.  I had no choice but to let go. "Go back with my blessing from where you came."  I called out to my body.   I let all my parts blend back to their original source, body back the earth, thought and vision to the sky.  The north and south poles of my mind/body were stretched between the nebula center of the Earth and the outer rim of the atmosphere.  Nothing but my original something-ness remained as a form of brilliant awareness.  This is when TerRaGaia ItHeShe appeared taking form right out of the water. 

I was not shocked for two reasons. One There was no Me.  I had been reabsorbed into the planetary substance all that  remained was a crystal clear observer. The second reason was that I had seen this waterform 6 years before.  It had appeared out of a river the 6th day of a 14 day  total fast and told me to drink.

The translucent androgynous iridescence that formed before me in that frozen New Mexico rio then communicated directly with to my consciousness.

"I am TerRaGaia ItHeShe I am the prime source of your beginning. Nothing happens in on or around my body that I don't will or that is demanded from stronger powers.  I have made you and called you Route Man.  You are to take my message and make it clear to your species the Plan of TerRaGaia.  I have heard your budding consciousness crying for understanding.   This is the purpose for which you species has evolved."

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65 million years ago I had a communication from the source if all. 

Matter and energy are being required from My Being in the center of all universes Immediately Terragaia's evolutionary mechanism set in motion an impulse from the center of her being.  This impulse came from the source of pure will.   The waves of this impulse created a series of life forms capable send the required energy and material back to the prime center.  I TerRa Gaia set in motion two natural laws to achieve fulfill my duty to my creator. 

The first way is the rise of the reasoning mind in a life form to assist the deep and surface metals, liquids and electricity to begin moving faster around the planet forming an increased electromagnetic field.  Increase energy, increased gravitational mass.  So The whole being and form of the surface and atmosphere altered in a wink of a cosmic eye.  This urge became the quest for technology. 

The life forms of size and power began to give way to a different kind of power.  The power to think and communicate thoughts.   The one big land mass split up onto continents initiating the necessity to create more and more advanced methods of communication, until now a million years later, bits of metal, glass, gas, digits and dashes swirling like a cloud nebula round this ball of kyuanasquatsi.

A churning mass, from  molten core to the ionosphere TerRaGaia has it's own agenda.

To move as much electromagnetic energy around its body as possible build up a higher quanta to make the jump it has no choice it must obey the forces of the cosmic web greater than it's own.

What is annoying Terra at this time is the life form entrusted with the acceleration process has not yet discovered the full use of it own organism.  It keeps building machines to mimic what she designed brain and body already could do. 

They are beginning to be able to transmit the highest energy form on the surface (thoughts) around the globe at almost the speed of light minus the relay switches.  What they have not yet  realized is that the technology is serving only as a concrete three dimensional model for discovering what the brain can do.  It seems that the force of narcissus is one of the forces of self discovery .  Technology is a mirror for what the mind and body can already do.

When "science" proves what philosophers and mystic has always known, that thoughts and feelings have a material aspect, and are made up of the finest of particles and the highest frequency of wave, then TerRaGaia's isolation and adolescence is over.  She will have conscious communication with other central beings with an evolving stratosphere.

When I came out of the trance it was slow and clear.  I understood everything that I heard as if something I had been trying to remember for ages suddenly popped into my consciousness.

I stood up filled with the experience of being a purposeful part of life.  Life in every form and direction. 

Turning to the four directions I yelled, "I hear and understand.  I now live for the service of TerRaGaia.  I now live for my Self!"