The turn of the century marked a new stage in mankind's search for self awareness.  Unfortunately we had little inner knowledge of the forces driving us to seek higher consciousness.  There were many pioneers in the field searching for new worlds of being and consciousness and many paths.  Some were pulled to the ancient traditions of Chinese and Hindu philosophy, others took a more “modern” approach discovering that psycho spiritual evolution could be accomplished through mind altering substances.  Shamans, Medicine men and certain sects of the mainstream religions and physicians had been using substances for centuries. 

During this same era, George Ivanovitch Gurdjieff, the Russian philosopher/mystic known as “G”, addressed himself to changing consciousness without drugs.  G told his students that they were Machines, referring to the predictable, non-spontaneous quality of our lives.  He understood all the possibilities man is capable of, but believed that our souls age and wither before we die unless we are able to live from our intuition:  the direct link with our Soul. 

How did he come to this understanding?  G’s psychic and psycho-physical structure was unusual because he had the courage to administer powerful psychic shocks to his own nervous system through a series of physical and mental exercises.  These shocks roused him from the waking sleep state the rest of us are in all of the time.  G had new knowledge that he attempted to imprint in his students’ consciousness by utilizing a new language.  Unlike normal talking, this language contained inner and outer meanings in harmony with each other. 
 

If you examine the predictable, non-spontaneous life we live today  you will need no other proof  that human beings are becoming more and more like machines or computer chips.  In our inner lives we live as  defensive marionettes dangling from the strings of impulses, suggestions and imprints,  speaking to one another in a language that creates barriers and distance between us rather than reveals a depth of human sharing. 
  

In a society trapped between ambiguity and ambivalence, passivity easily becomes a habit.  Gurdjieff said we really have no free will because we live a life without purpose other than to play our functions according to a predetermined natural structure of our consciousness (conditioning).  He knew if we faced all our contradictions at once, we'd go mad, but if our inner lies could be confronted they could be silenced silenced one by one.  This weakens the automatic imagination, setting essence free!  This is called “awakening from the sleep state”.  We become present to our Self in the Moment, where a fuller and richer life awaits. 
 

Identification is a tremendous psychic block.  We become what we're identified with.  If we're angry, we become anger in action.  The same is true for any emotion.  We lose our independent sense of self, becoming what we're feeling.  An obvious example is watching TV, movies or theater.  We become totally absorbed and thereby identified with the characters. T be really free  we must learn to see how we identify and become everything we see, hear, feel and think, so this automatism can be recognized and stopped.  Once this is accomplished, we begin to differentiate our Real Self from our Identified False Personality. 
 

The inner and outer structure of being has been described by G as Essence and personality.  The automatic personality is one thing one minute, and quite another the next, according to which attitude is dominant at the time.  The “I” eating dinner is not the same “I” engaged in a political discussion.  This is a very difficult idea to grasp.   In fact, even G’s closest followers never really understood his message.  We are full of many “I's”; some stronger, some weaker.  As we begin to observe ourselves, objectively becoming aware of the “I's”, it is easy to see them working in rapid succession during the day.  The personality is structured in layers in order to hide the contradictions in the stream.  But the problem remains; there is no stable “me” or “I” upon which concentration can be supported.  The “I” keeps changing.  What we call our “Self” is an imaginary entity that does not exist, although it certainly seems real. 
 

If we can see these various selves, it will be made clear why we behave differently at different times; one moment carefree, the next depressed, bored, happy or sad, according to which “I” has been activated.  In fact, consciousness is constantly changing, depending on the food or drugs we consume!  G’s idea that we are different selves residing in the same body is hard to accept.  To admit that we are not one real self, but a mass of conflicting selves, brought into existence by environment, stimulation, education social factors, books, radio and TV is an adjustment hard to make.  Those who can see this truth are on the way to real self understanding. 
 

Those familiar with G’s ideas, and those who have never heard of him, labor under the same delusion:  that their behavior is controlled by an elusive self called “I” or “Me”.  People in “the Work” have developed “work I’s” that can become just as much of a facade to awakening as ordinary I’s. Yet this “I” or “Me” has no permanent location that we can find.  It is simply a mass of acquired sensations and automatic streams of associated ideas and thoughts which flare up randomly.  Because of our living in this trance of the never ending stream of ideas and associations, we don't think, we only think we're thinking:  Our whole inner and outer life happens to us, governed by associations and the random stream of sensations.  When we constantly react to the impressions and thoughts we get the illusion that have a central “I” with free will. This distorts reality by convincing us we are who we think we are.  Yet, it is this same illusion which keeps us asleep to our true potential and is the source of our daily suffering.  We are asleep as long as we continue to regard ourselves as conscious beings in control of our lives! 
 

Gurdjieff last book title says it all, “Life is only real then, when I Am!” 
Wherever we are, hundreds of impressions keep flashing through the mind.  The mind selects which impressions to keep and which to reject; in order to keep the psychic babble from becoming intolerable.  Our daily activities are just reactions to events, rather than conscious actions.   We react to events differently, but we still just react, not act.  Therefore, seeming conscious activity is simply a mechanical response!  We make choices as to movement, but our inner dialogue or monologue may be completely different from our actions.  Not having the ability to observe our stream of consciousness, awareness can happen for brief moments, but then we’re back to sleep again in the stream; and the play of automatic associations goes on forever without permission.  This “stream”, referred to by William James, causes us to cling to social masks, convinced that the masks are ourselves. 
 

Why are we machines?  When and how did it happen?  Were men always machines with the exception of rare geniuses, or did the machine age turn us all into machines? 
 

At around age 3, we begin to limit the expression of inner life, gradually replacing it with outer compulsions and obsessions as we grow older.  Not only do we deny our inner life to ourselves, but we are fearful that someone will discover it and try to manipulate or harm us.  Because of the imprint of early impressions we close off other areas of consciousness causing us  to be unaware of our true feelings.  We're also subject to time constraints so subtle as to be imperceptible.  Biological rhythms make us feel different in body and brain at various moments, causing our mental powers to vary from hour to hour, day to day and season to season.  It is common knowledge that there are critical periods when knowledge can be more easily acquired.  For example, research in biological rhythms found repetitive work is more successful in late afternoon or evening when the body temperature is higher, brain activities tend to be better in late morning or mid-day, and peak intellectual proficiency occurs in the first half of the day. 
 

It is hard to avoid the evidence that we're constructed machines, a mixture of the innate and the learned , specific and the general, clock systems and mental constructs.  Because of the artificial and superficial restraint and demands on our attention, we fail to understand the nature of biological time, and or autonomic nervous system.  Gurdjieff called this the conscious part of the instinctive moving center.  When through conscious effort we begin to understand the various dimensions of biological time, we will be able to tap into the essence of body wisdom and achieve longevity and good health. 
 

The result of living in a superficial and competitive culture is that we become the roles we play in order to “fit in”.  Society demands certain masks be worn for every occasion.  This creates an undercurrent of anxiety that appears to be “free floating”.  It is important to see and understand these roles and the low key suffering that is attached.  One of the main reasons for this anxiety is the comparing ourselves to others.  This results in alienation and further crystallizes the false personality of negative imagination.  In Gurdjieff's terminology this was a form of “Inner considering”, the source of our automatic suffering and bondage. 
 

It appears that the “way” that G left was a truly legitimate  a secure way , but the world he lived and worked in was a little bit slower and richer.  People weren't quite so alienated, The threat of total extinction on many fronts (atomic, environmental, biological) didn’t confront man at every newsstand.  The machine age has brought two great mountains to climb before one is even ready to begin the work.  They are boredom and loneliness.  Fearful of the empty feelings that lurk within us we have learned to confuse inner chatter and monologue with a real inner life and “soul”.  By denying our inner emptiness, boredom, loneliness and death fears, we prevent any contact with the beginning of real self observation and beingness.  So we cover up the emptiness with stimulation, seeking, restless activity and even the spiritual path.  Most of this running and denial is to prevent others from sensing our fear at feeling this emptiness, no one want to feel their nothingness but that is exactly what G talked about when he described the “terror of the moment” in Beelzebub's Tales”. 
 

The striving for reward, recognition and respect prevents even a small hope of beginning to become conscious of real “I”.  Inner considering takes the forms of constant analyzing, negative chatter, assumptions, self pity which prevent us from even entering the stream of self observation and contact with the seed of self.  As our minds become increasingly more complex because of our technology and become more cluttered with useless trivia and ideas we are creating a fertile ground for alienation, boredom and even more potent forms of sleep i.e.. fanaticism and lunacy.  As people start becoming more and more machine like they treat each other more and more as machines.  In this environment boredom and despair become the bottom line.  This is the state of desperation that one needs to perceive to begin the real work.  We must face our boredom, our negative inner landscapes of loneliness and despair down to the bottom.  If we do something beyond will begin to appear. 
 

Gurdjieff had the ability to create an atmosphere where each could experience his own particular brand of boredom and despair.  You must get beneath this.  The mind may not allow it at first because the mind/body likes familiar grooves even if the are painful.  But we must try.  Observe the mind with the mind, the body with the body and the feelings with the feelings. 
 

No one wants to face boredom and loneliness the mind seeks to be distracted or entertained.  The mind is one of the biggest obstacle to overcome on the way to self awareness because of the analytical part endlessly finding imperfection assumptions, and dissections.  In fact most thoughts are distractions from facing our inner fear and the nothingness that resides behind it.  This is so terrifying that the mind begins to play trick vacillating; between feeling worthy and worthless..  We fail to recognize the contradictions between our thought feelings and actions and the same mechanical weaknesses cause us to repeat the same number of limited roles over and over again. 
 

Living in this constant state of low key fear that society calls anxiety, feeling of self pity and sadness creep in subtly.  The personality clings to the remembrances of the flashes of the nothingness and emptiness while the questing mind twists the awareness of the self into an existential tailspin. 
 

We imagine the personality  is the Self, but when we observe our self from the nothingness we are, the many “I’s” of personality can be recognized.  Staying with the feelings of nothing  and even welcoming them allow us to penetrate to the other side.  This Self Observation provides the proof to our intellect that we only react automatically to external and internal random associations, and we are not the same person all the time.  This is the first big step in becoming conscious. 
 

Most people take it for granted that they are self aware and can really observe because they are are of what they are doing or saying in the moment,  This is not real Self observation.  To be able to observe oneself one must be able to divide the attention into two equal parts so that “something” within is able to see what the mind, body and emotions are doing simultaneously.  Although everyone has this ability few choose to do it because they already think they are aware. 
 

For example: observe how rarely you fully concentrate on any activity.  The mind body and feeling speed off at different velocities under the delusion the “I” am doing something.  Racing  from one subject to another , the mind is constantly sorting out, labeling, comparing, concluding and assuming in an automatic manner. Observe how our consciousness never really is aware of the automatic filing system that puts thoughts, experiences and impressions into familiar categories.  This is the reason it is so difficult to begin real self observation of the “Natural Self”, Automatic thinking disguises and confuses our perception that we don't even know where to begin to look in the right way. 
 

If we start by observing the minds automatic negative thoughts and fearful feelings, we will notice a great deal of these negative states comes from blaming others.  This flow of negative accusation is due to the mechanical mind, that appears in the form of imagination, daydreams and fantasy which are a waste of energy and are actually destructive to real self observation.  These inner accusation eventually lead to self incrimination for not being sharper faster better than the other guy, this in turn leads to self pity.  G said that “more energy is lost feeling sorry for yourself than any other negative emotion”.  With negative thoughts surging through your mind who has the energy required to observe in every social and isolated situation? 
 

What is need to do the Gurdjieff work correctly is to be able to be with one self) without the need to prove anything to anybody.  Higher consciousness is not another state of awareness but being aware of yourself as you are being aware of yourself. 
Many times self observation makes one aware of unpleasant aspect of our self.  The trap to avoid here is not to be pulled down emotionally by seeing our weaknesses.  If observed correctly these weakness that we are ashamed of can become strengths we can build self awareness on. 
 

Self observation can be described as a passive form of self awareness, which is the best way to become familiar with intimate thoughts, feelings and actions.  Then learning to separate thoughts from feelings, and then feel the feelings fully without imagination or judgment provides a way to experience the different centers in a clean and clear way.  We must first learn to recognize a thought when it's a 
thought, a feeling when it is a feeling and a sensation when it is a sensation before they can begin to work in cohesion and being begins. 
 

G taught that intellect, feelings and the nervous system have three separate brains but we usually operate in only one and neglect the other two.  This means there are three minds in the same body: one living solely by logic, another by feelings and a third controlling the  immune and autonomic nervous system (the instincts). But these three minds don't understand each other and often go in opposing direction and get in each other way,  Feelings are often mistaken for thoughts and vice versa which block real feelings from coming to the surface.  Nearly forty years after the death of Gurdjieff the struggle still remains the same; How to integrate thought, feeling and actions so they work in harmony and unison in all situations. 
 

G suggested that we change the nature of impressions as the flash into the mind all day long.  Real self observation happens when we learn to separate the thoughts, feelings and actions.  Since feelings come a hundred times faster than thoughts, they are always unconsciously effecting thoughts.  As we get proficient in separating thought from feelings you arrive at a place of pure feeling and objective thought. 
 

G also spoke about being present to yourself, self remembering; being consciously aware of every little thing you think, feel and do.  This is not a natural state but can be developed over time by learning to become an impartial observer.  The reason this is so difficult is the inner judge and identifier will constantly interfere.  Each time this happens and you forcefully drive the negative inner critic away you will develop a new and special sense of self worth.  This “special” sense of self has the power to distinguish the various personality's that roam the psyche.  As we learn to recognize all of these “I’s” that make you irritable, passive, aggressive, depressed, etc., they lose there power.  There is no possibility of change unless we become aware of these “I's”. 
 

Only through self-observation can we understand why we say and do what we do, one day another and the next day something completely different.  We constantly make promises to yourself and other that the next day we don't want to keep?  Often it is easy to see the contradictory things other people do or say, when we begin to notice those same things in our self the need for self observation will become apparent.  It's all part of the grand illusion that causes us to think we as conscious beings.  If you find this hard to understand try doing and ordinary household task in a different way.  A new philosophy of being and thinking begins by shedding old habits.  This makes us aware of a painful weakness; we have no will, we are many selves and really we can not do.  It does. 
 

There are many kinds of self observation, some work better than others, not all being fabrications of imagination.  One mistake many in the work make is to think that one center watching another is self observation, but this is only a baby step. and if it is kept up it will end up like Orage's group in new York; “candidates for the lunatic asylum”. 
 

Another kind of partial self observation, is trying to walk around self aware, you will soon find yourself fast asleep. The big step in self observation is seeing that you can't observe or be aware of yourself for any great length of time, then with the help of your group and teacher a conscious shock can be administered and the observation of a more awake self can begin.  Then there is a sustaining power that feeds off itself to maintain the level of awareness called self observation 
 

The breaking of a habit is the best way to remember yourself.  If done correctly, with impartiality, catch yourself at one of your unhealthy habits.  Start observing while enjoying your habit to the maximum.  Think to yourself very clearly and distinctly, “I must and will give up this vicious habit for my health's sake”.  Immediately you will be aware or opposing “I’s” and  your desires vacillate.  The process of observing your actions without comment or criticism will make you more aware of yourself.  If at this time you admit that you really don't know yourself and say to yourself “I admit it! I don't know my self”! This is the beginning of self observation.  try to see yourself as you really are, not as you pretend to be.  At that moment you become the observer of the observed.  THIS SIMPLE ACT ALLOWS YOU TO BECOME A MORE CONSCIOUS PERSON, EVEN IF ONLY FOR A MOMENT.<